


Come A Little Bit Closer You're My Kind Of Man

by crocodilepatronus



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Alley Blow Jobs, Alley Sex, Bar Room Brawl, M/M, Reader-Insert, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 22:22:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crocodilepatronus/pseuds/crocodilepatronus
Summary: Yondu x Reader. There's a bar fight, Yondu makes a dad joke, and I stole a line from To Have and Have Not.





	Come A Little Bit Closer You're My Kind Of Man

It had started- as all good things do- with a bar fight. A bar fight in the middle of Knowhere.

 

“You owe me money, scumbag.”

 

Those words were an old familiar friend, and you could feel your flight or fight response momentarily kick into high gear but for once they weren’t directed toward you.

 

The offender was a species you didn’t know but looked approximately like a lumpy boulder with a ponytail and a face. Not pretty. Though maybe he had a good personality.

 

And he was cracking his knuckles menacingly, standing behind a centaurian in a leather trenchcoat.

 

You’d recognized the uniforms. Ravagers. As soon as they’d walked in the door you’d figured trouble would be following soon after. And especially when the centaurian leader (identified as such by the way his cohorts seemed to throng around him) was carrying himself with enough swagger that even you sort of wanted to fight him to knock the surly, slightly menacing, but fully self satisfied, smirk off his face. He had blue skin, gauged with scar tissue and dark red eyes.

 

He sipped his drink and turned around innocentally, his eyes going up and down Big Ugly. A grin spread across his face, all sharpened teeth, some of them metal and jagged.

 

You knocked your drink back, already itching for this to turn bad. It had been approximately 45 minutes since your life had last been in danger and you were starting to get bored. What was the point of coming to a planet with one of the highest crime rates in the galaxy if not the excitement? You bounced your leg, watching the exchange go down from your seat a few feet away.

 

“Glock, you old son of a bitch” the blue ravager said amiably to the eight foot tall monster who was staring him down like he was about to eat him. You took a moment to appreciate the harsh, throaty, tone of his voice. “The last time I saw you? Lemme remember… you were fading into the distance with the Nova Corps halfway up your asshole”

 

The living boulder made a guttural roaring growl from his belly and took a lumbering step forward. “You left me to die out there and ran off with the loot!”

 

“So I did!” the ravager chuckled, still calm as ever, and raised his drink, grin spreading wider so that the light bounced off his metal teeth.

 

The big guy grabbed the front of his jacket and shook him once. “Today’s the day I make you sorry”

 

The smile dropped off the ravager’s face but he still regarded the attacker complacently, flicking his coat back and putting his hand to a holster strapped to his hip. “I bet you won’t.” he said, gripping something thin and red in his hand.

 

You tipped back on your barstool to try and see what it was, watching all this as eagerly as a sports match.

 

Big Ugly grabbed Blue by the wrist before he could draw fully whatever weapon he had.

 

But the centaurian smirked, chuckling to himself. He calmly turned to the skinny, scruffy looking peon beside him and said “hold my drink” depositing it in his hand before rolling his shoulders once, and slamming his forehead directly against Ugly’s, knocking him back three feet with impressive force.

 

 _Aaand we’re off_ , you thought.

 

The bar erupted. There was never need for much instigation in these type of establishments- you knew from experience.

 

Broken glass, the smell of spilled booze, fists flying, the thud of bodies hitting the floor and punches landing, a missing tooth sailing past your ear. _This is the life_.

 

You picked up a bar stool and broke it over someone’s head. They dropped. In the chaos you supposed drinks were free now and quickly grabbed a bottle from behind the bar (the bartender was a tad preoccupied- some species with tentacles was wrapped around his head and he’d wildly tried shooting it off with a pistol with no effect other than sending bullets ricocheting off the walls and further escalating the chaos) and sucked it down.

 

Blue menace seemed to have been following a similar line of thought. You saw someone take a swing at his head. It missed- probably because the attacker was a little distracted by a bright red arrow flying through his skull before he could land the punch. Blue guy deftly caught the drink the other man had been holding in his fist before he hit the floor with a death rattle groan. He threw it back in one sweep.

 

It was hard not to keep your eyes on the blue ravager, even amidst the crowd. The arrow he was controlling zipped through the throng with precision, leaving a streak of red in its wake. The man controlling it sat back casually on the only bar stool remaining upright, thighs spread and arms balanced on the bar behind him, felling any foe before they got close enough to touch him. His lips were pursed in a whistle that you could hear faintly, its own melody among the shouts and rabble.

 

You preferred a bit more of a hands on approach. Someone had broken a bottle over the back of your head and frankly that was just rude, so you grabbed the someone or something by the tusk and slammed its head against the bar, shattering the wood.

 

You were feeling rather happy about your work until the red arrow whizzed past your ear. You whipped around and saw it pierce through the chest of a man behind you, who had both hands raised above his head holding an axe that had been seconds away from coming down on you. Needless to say that was no longer in the cards with blood pouring down the front of his shirt and a sort of dopey ‘hey what happened?’ look on his face as he crumpled to the floor. You turned to blue guy and raised the drink in your hand amiably. “Cheers for that, man!” you shouted at him. He raised an eyebrow at you and grinned, mouth full of jagged edges and metal. He raised his own drink back with a nod in your direction. Then it was back into the fray for both of you.

 

Then someone had to escalate the situation by pulling out a ray gun. And that’s just unsporting. You dropped to your hands and knees, crawling as you saw others drop to the ground and your eye level around you. You made it to the bar and saw blue guy already stooped underneath it, occasionally poking his head up only to duck back down to narrowly miss a blue shot of energy from frying the red mohawk right off the top of his head.

 

“Fancy meeting you down here” you said, imitating his pose and curling your knees up to your chest.

 

“The drinks are bad but I keep coming back for the atmosphere” he shot back, both of you shouting over the unruly noise of yelling and the ‘pew pew’ of that idiot’s ray gun.

 

“I just want to clarify” you said with a wince as something shattered above your head “I’m not a coward. And I’m not down here because I’m hiding. I’m pretty sure I dropped something on the ground.”

 

“Was it your dignity?”

 

“That must be it. It’s small enough that it’s going to be hard to find in this mess”

 

“Well, Not-A-Coward. I’m Yondu.” he peered over the edge of the bar. “And I’m sick of this dude.”

 

He unfurled his fingers from the arrow he was holding and it levitated into the air on silent command. He whistled through his teeth and it sprang to life, darting up over the bar. You didn’t see it happen but you heard the shout and the thunk and then there was no more ray gun firing. A few people cheered. The fighting raged on with renewed vigor and liveliness. You exuberantly kicked a Krylorian in the chest as you pulled yourself out from under the bar. Yondu was fighting bare fisted in addition to his arrow, you saw him elbow someone in the nose with admirable panache.

 

It was distracting and you took a roundhouse kick to the face for your pause. Yondu laughed at you. Dick. While he was laughing someone smashed a bottle against the side of his head. Sometimes karma works fast.

 

The bottle smasher was about seven feet tall of grimy purple scales and had an extra eyeball on his chin. Yondu had to tilt his head back to make eye contact even with the bottom eye. That looked, to you, like a two person project.

 

“Scuse me” you said as warning before clasping Yondu firmly by the shoulder and pushing down to propel yourself up to jump on the bar. That afforded enough height to smash the flat of your fist down on Big Guy’s head with a ‘thump’ that sounded like an instant concussion in your semi-professional opinion.

 

“Do I look like a jumping off point to you, boy?” Yondu snapped at you over the din.

 

“Yeah” you replied easily.

 

He muttered something under his breath. The three eyed giant was still on his feet, eyes rolling around dazedly. Yondu wolf whistled and the arrow swirled around his head. The giant batted at it like it was a fly he could catch and for his troubles, the arrow sliced right through his palm and he stumbled away screeching.

 

Yondu shouted over his shoulder at you “Well while you’re back behin’ the bar see if anyone’s gotten to the cash register yet!”

 

“I’m like two steps ahead of you!” you were shoving handfuls of money into your pockets and tucking a bottle of something that looked expensive into your coat.

 

The arrow flew back into Yondu’s hand and he leaned over the bar to leer at you, propping his chin on his fist as if there wasn’t utter chaos reigning down from all sides. “Wanna get out of here and head someplace a little more upscale?”

 

“What did you have in mind?”

 

“Behind the dumpster in the alley outside.”

 

“You really know how to make a guy feel special, don’t you?”

 

It took some maneuvering but Yondu whistled a happy tune as he lead you out and his magic arrow covered you, leaving senseless bloodshed in its wake and letting you both stroll out the back door at your leisure.

 

The general smell of smoke in the air that pervaded the city like a cloud covered up any dumpster smell. Which you were grateful for. Because you were going to have to do a lot of breathing through your nose when your mouth was preoccupied with Yondu’s.

 

You smashed your lips against his, biting against the chapped, rough, skin as he opened his mouth to you, swirling his tongue around yours. You felt the sting and familiar taste of your own blood as your tongue slashed against the jagged edges of his teeth. You liked it and did it again, the harsh pain of the laceration making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. He sucked the red that spilled off your lower lip.

 

You had him grasped by the front of his jacket, his back against the outside wall of the bar. You thrust one leg between his thighs, satisfied to feel an erection straining against his leather pants. You pressed your hips together and slid up and down slowly as you continued locking lips.

 

“You know how whistle, don’t you, boy?” he growled as you pulled away for air. His voice was even deeper then and he knotted his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck and tugged you downward, until you were on your knees in front of him. He smirked. “Just put your lips together- and blow.”

 

You worked open the front of his pants eagerly and did just that, sucking down his length in one go, opening up the back of your throat to him and wrapping your tongue around the base of his cock.

 

There were two small, red, fins that wrapped around his testes that were fluttering slightly. You sucked one of them between your lips and felt his pulse in it, thrumming. He seemed to enjoy that from the sound he made in reaction.

 

Your hand fisted around his cock- which was as blue as the skin of his face, but a bruised purple at the tip. You sucked on it, moving your head up and down and gripping his thighs to balance. It hurt your newly injured tongue but you were too caught up to mind much. 

 

As you pulled back you let your teeth scrape lightly against his shaft and heard a satisfying yelp that quickly turned into chuckle as he dug his fingernails hard into the back of your neck in retaliation. “Easy there, darlin’. Don’t damage the goods.”

 

You hummed in the back of your throat and rubbed your hand over your own crotch, needing some attention there while you worked.

 

The back door to the bar burst open. Yondu’s cohort, the skinny, dirty looking one stumbled out and landed face first, regurgitated some blood and possibly a tooth, and looked up blearily to see you with Yondu’s dick poised an inch from your mouth. He gave a thumbs up. Yondu gave him a thumbs up back. Then he picked himself up and threw himself back into the bar, the sound of shouting and glass breaking faintly becoming clear before the door closed behind him.

 

“Where were we?” you said innocently. You smirked affectionately at the purple cock head bobbing against your mouth. “Oh, right.”

 

You swallowed him to the base again, exhaling through your nose and stretching your lips wide enough that drool and a bit of leftover blood dripped down your chin. He made a satisfied groan above you.

 

“We’re going to want to clear out of here before that fight dies down” you said, slightly out of breath when you pulled away after a few firm sucks. You stood up and shoved your pants down to your knees, turning around and bracing one hand against the wall.

 

You were no blushing virgin and not much prep was needed, especially with his cock lubricated with your spit. Yondu pressed into you without ceremony and you groaned at the initial burning stretch.

 

Your fingernails dug into the brick wall and you grit your teeth as you felt him push in until he was filling you to the hilt. His arm wrapped around your waist, pawing at your front, rubbing across your pelvis before taking a firm grip of the shape of your genitals. Then you felt his tongue slide wetly across the back of your neck leading to a harsh bite at your earlobe, drawing blood from where the sharp tip of his teeth broke the skin.

 

The whimper that escape your mouth was shamefully undignified when he slowly drew out of you again before thrusting back with full force until his hips slapped against your ass and forced you crotch further against his palm.

 

You could hear that he was enjoying this as much as you were, could feel the sharp exhales of hot breath on the nape of your neck as he started rocking into you at a brutal rhythm- shallow, quick humps intermixed with slow, drawn out ones that drew back until you could feel his cock head pressing against your rim before he stroked back into you. If you were never able to sit down again, it would still be worth it.

 

Yondu’s hand was equally merciless on you, his grip bruising and his palm calloused against the sensitive skin as he pinched and stroked at you until your head was swimming with no other thought than the mix of pleasure and pain.

 

When he growled “come for me, boy” you did just that, eyes rolling into the back of your head and knees immediately sagged beneath you, your whole body going limp. The only thing keeping you upright was his hand on your now hyper sensitive genitals and his cock still inside you, rubbing up against the only part of you that wasn’t numb and hazy with satisfied pleasure.

He gave a last few jerks before you felt slickness and heard the grunt and satisfied chuckle as he pulled out, now limp.

 

You needed a moment to catch your breath, turning around with your back to the wall but your pants still around your ankles. Yondu was smirking, eyes slowly looking you up and down like he was satisfied with his work.

 

“We’re on our way to a big score. Could use someone like you.” he said casually as you hiked your pants up and buttoned them close. “Good money to be made. But it’s gonna be dangerous. And very illegal.”

 

You shrugged one shoulder. “Sounds like my type of job.”

He grinned back at you.

 


End file.
